#89: From Now On (PART 1)

【What's Truly Important】
From college, jobs, marriage; to volunteer work, friendships, and family relations.
 
In so many facets of our life, we evaluate each of our moments. We rejoice our moments of success with a proud smile, or regret our moments of failure that didn’t go as expected.
 
Those evaluations are mostly in retrospect. That is, we reflect upon what had already happened; what had already passed by. And in those moments of evaluation, oftentimes, we’re prone to making excuses.
 
In a sense, it’s what everybody does.
 
Yet, it’s completely up to us whether to repeat our usual patterns, or to change it. It’s our choice, indeed; it’s our decision.
 
In moments of evaluation, we begin by analyzing "Why it happened the way it did." We reflect upon "Why we did it the way we did," "What/how we thought when we did it," and "Why we thought that way at the time."
 
These reflections are vital in learning about our own patterns of success/failure.
 
Nonetheless, when we remain in the reflections for too long, we tend to begin entertaining self-infatuations, such as “Look at me, I did so great!” Or, we start engaging in the art of making excuses, explaining “Believe me, there was nothing else I could’ve done.”
 
Either way, it’s neither constructive nor healthy when we linger in the reflections for too long.
 
For this reason, we should keep our moments of evaluation within the scope of learning. And beyond that point, it’s more constructive to shift our focus to what’s truly important.
 
Yes, what’s truly important is Given that experience, what we do from now on.
 
Yes, it’s less about Until now. It’s much more about From now on.
 
It’s because our life is what we ourselves build it to be.
 
In all fairness, there are things in life that’s not up to ourselves; things which we can’t choose or decide for ourselves. For example, many people just happen to be born in a war zone. Or, into poverty. Or, to a dysfunctional family. Or, raised under abusive parents. Or, as a minority exposed to injustices such as discrimination, oppression, or persecution.
 
They’re out of our own control--we call these aspects in life as Uncontrollables.
 
Nevertheless, despite these inborn situations, there are things in life that’s up to ourselves; things which we can choose or decide for ourselves. And the more we find ourselves in a fortunate situation, the more things in life are under our own control.
 
We call these aspects in life as Controllables.
 
In the next post, let’s dig in a little deeper on these aspects.

Read Next: From Now On (2)【Controllables】

​Complete Series: From Now On (1)～(3)
[1]   [2]   [3]   

Read Theme: Perspective