#31: Why No Inheritance (PART 2)

【Hinder Independence】
“Of course, my future is up to me. But, if worse comes to worst, my parents’ life savings will bail me out.”
 
Leaving the life savings to our own children. No matter how casual that conversation may be, when such idea is shared between the parents and children. Or, even if such promise is merely implied, when the family members accept it like an unspoken rule. Nevertheless, such ambiance in and of itself will likely hinder the development of the child’s own strength to live a fulfilling life.
 
In our long and winding journey of life, we all face a few crossroads here and there. And our futures will vastly diverge depending on how we handle those critical moments. However much toughness we’ve built up to that point in time, our own strength to live a fulfilling life will surely be on display at the crossroads. And such tenacity is grown and expanded only through us “living our own life” consistent to what’s most important based on our own values. 
 
Those of us who have no choice but to invent and reinvent ourselves.
Those of us who can count on parents’ life savings to bail us out.
 
Between the two, which one of us has the better odds of expanding our own strength to live a fulfilling life? Of handling ourselves as best as we can at the life’s crossroads? In our journey of life, it’s quite evident.
 
Teach strong work ethic to our child. Explain - starting at a young age - that there will be no inheritance. That will build a life-long asset for our child – the resilience to live a fulfilling life on one’s own efforts.
 
In most cases, parents will pass away before the child.
 
And for the surviving child, there’s nothing more comforting and heartening than to know that s/he can rely on own self to live a fulfilling life.
 
Expecting inheritance, whether consciously or not. This overindulgence, at times, obstructs the child’s independence. That is, it hinders the growth of the child’s self-discipline as well as self-reliance.
 
Self-discipline is to control oneself. To overcome one’s own weaknesses and to guide oneself to pursue what’s right.
 
Self-reliance is to stand on one’s own legs. To make a living on one’s own efforts and hard work.
 
The more obstructed the independence, the higher the likelihood of the child’s eventual reliance on the parents. Or more precisely, the reliance on parents’ life savings. This may be more so for those children who work in the family business and expect to one day inherit it. It’s because their life for the most part – private and professional – is overshadowed by and confined within the dominant presence of parents’ estate.
 
Now and then, some of us may grumble about our own ever-dependent child. The adult child who continues to piggyback on us. Nonetheless, somewhere not too deep inside ourselves, we may be quietly welcoming that everlasting sense of superiority over our own child. We may even find it quite satisfying. As if our child were a living testimony to our own extraordinary character as Great Parents. And such dependence serves as the perfect foundation for parents’ manipulation of the child.
 
However, such overindulgence was provided in the first place by the parents. Its origin may even trace back to those casual conversations and unspoken rules when our children were still very little. And it may hinder the development of the child’s own strength to live a fulfilling life, obstruct the growth of the child’s self-discipline and self-reliance, and culminate in the child’s eventual dependence on parents’ life savings.
 
Whether knowingly or not, such seems to be a rather typical tragedy at the dead end of a Selfish Love called inheritance.

Read Next: Why No Inheritance (3)【Ugly Family Battles】
Read Previous: Why No Inheritance (1)【Manipulative Parents】
 
Complete Series: Why No Inheritance (1)～(7)
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Read Theme: Inheritance