#32: Why No Inheritance (PART 3)

【Ugly Family Battles】
As the parent passes away, a funeral storms in and out like a hurricane, leaving the surviving children emotionally mesmerized. And without a moment to spare, a will follows.
 
Generally, a will is an avenue in which the deceased expresses his/her heartfelt farewell to the surviving family members. Alongside, it usually spells out the distribution of assets – the life savings left behind.
 
The surviving children who expect inheritance. Make no mistake, most of these children are already grown adults – many of them parents themselves – living their independent lives with their own families.
 
And these adults certainly have their own independent feelings and unique history. Surely, their relationship with the parent is engraved within that history. And despite sharing the same background as children of the same parent, it’s important to acknowledge that every parent-child relationship is particular in its own way.
 
A child who always hit it off well with the parent. A child who didn’t get along too well. Sometimes, a significant event such as marriage may trigger a dramatic shift in that parent-child relationship.
 
A child who mostly lived away from young age. Even when living together, a genuine connection can be quite elusive without opening up each other’s heart and sharing the highs and lows of life together. Living separately will surely make that connection all the more challenging.
 
A child who provided care for the aging parent by remaining close to home or even living together. A child who lived far and couldn’t provide much elderly care. And a child who didn’t even try.
 
Perhaps, s/he didn’t try because of his/her childhood agony caused by the abusive parent. Or, perhaps s/he couldn’t even try – still suffering the residual effects of abuse. Even then, a child who supported financially. And a child who didn’t.
 
Parent-child relationships come in infinite combinations of flavors. Each and every one of them is truly unique.
 
What’s more, the spouses of these adult children also have their own independent feelings, unique history, and relationships with the parent. If s/he were the primary caretaker of the elderly parent especially while living together, then who can blame that sprouting feeling of having earned the right and entitlement.
 
While a myriad of emotions and relationships floods the family, a will may say, “Distribute the assets equally among all children,” or “Leave the home to the eldest child.” It may say, “Distribute a greater share to the daughter who lived together and took care of me,” or “Leave none to the son who did nothing for me.”
 
As sad as it may be, the distribution of assets often captures the leading role of a will, leaving the happy memories and warm feelings nearly forgotten. It’s a shame to say the least. And in many cases, the siblings end up embroiled in ugly inheritance battles with each other and the spouses.
 
“I can’t consent to an equal amount distribution given how much I’ve provided elderly care,” one may insist.
“If the eldest inherits the home, then there’s not much else left for others,” another may fret.
 
Regardless of how large or small the inheritance, it’s the perceived inequity that flares up the feeling of getting short-changed. Time and again, rather than unifying the siblings, we find inheritance causing irreparable damage.
 
In 2014 alone, over 15 thousand inheritance squabbles in Japan were fought in the courts. 32% of them were squabbled over a total estate under 10 million yen (US$90,000), and 43% were for 10 – 50 million yen (US$90,000 – 450,000). All told, 3/4 of these court battles were squabbled over a total estate under US$450,000.
 
What these numbers imply are that ugly family battles can fall upon almost anyone, even to the average family of a typical parent who owns a small condo unit in any of the large metro areas.
 
Moreover, estate tax is assessed upon inheritance in many cases. In Japan, estate tax is assessed on average 40 to 50 thousand cases per year, which suggests approximately 1/3 of all inheritances are battled in the courts. And presumably many more ugly inheritance squabbles are fought even if they’re kept out of the courts.
 
Contrary to the parent’s wishes, inheritance often brings out the worst in the heirs’ Selfish Love.

Read Next: Why No Inheritance (4)【Fortune Hunter】
Read Previous: Why No Inheritance (2)【Hinder Independence】

Complete Series: Why No Inheritance (1)～(7)
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